Dear Legbreaker, As you probably noticed, the weather was NICE in the Bay this past weekend...

Dear Legbreaker,

As you probably noticed, the weather was NICE in the Bay this past weekend. And when the first rays of sun and heat start to hit the bay in the middle of the winter or early spring, you know what that means? Yes sir, hotties in skimpy clothing...girls that made their new year's resolution(s) to hit the gym in '08 (most likely January 1st until Valentines' Day LOL) are anxious to show some skin.I stumbled upon a random hot one in Emeryville this weekend. 5'5", cute, strawberry blonde, coke bottle figure, sporting a pair on tight capris, heels, and a tank top. She scoped me out from across the way...I ditched my sis and niece for a sec, and decided to pursue. So I rolled up on her as she walked outta Banana Republic...she stopped and smiled. Game was spit, a couple of wise cracks, typical Dana BS, right?I scan the body, as it looked DAMN good from a distance. Pretty tight...yeah, she works out.

But I came across a very noticeable tattoo on her stomach. I asked if I could get a closer look "cuz I like tats", and stooped down a lil, shifting my shades to get a clearer glance. It was a mess. Like a small spider web that was covering another tattoo. I looked closer...and I couldn't believe my eyes...the horribly concealed "former" tat that was set below her navel read the word...NYMPHO (in blue ink)(sigh). So I acted like I couldn't read it, and just said, "Can't make it out, but it looks pretty koo." We exchanged #'s, talked later that night and have texted every day (on the hour) this week.

Now, with all this being said...your thoughts?

A) She's a stripper.

B) She was an idiot back in her High School days, and an older BF "encouraged" her to get this ridiculous tattoo (for comedy).

C) She's not just a stripper, but she's sellin that @ss outside the club too.

D) YOU wouldn't f*ck her with MY dick.

E) All of the above.


Thanks,

Gig

Gig...its all good bro. I feel you on the concern. Seriously. The only thing scarier than a girl with "nympho" tatted on her belly are banana t*tties, flapjacks, and/or jerky curtains. And now for my thoughts...

A) She's a stripper. Could be. But if she is, she knows how to shake her @ss, and is most likely as freaky as they come. Besides...somebody has to enjoy the @ss that so many fools have been throwing their hard earned singles at, ya know?

B) She was an idiot back in her High School days, and an older BF "encouraged" her to get this ridiculous tattoo (for comedy). Dude. That sounds like something I would have done. What's this chick's name, anyway?

C) She's not just a stripper, but she's sellin' that @ss outside the club too. I don't think shes selling @ss. On the real, homie, she would have hit you up for a deposit before inviting you over. Besides...the thought of this chick accepting cash to drop the panties for some 300 lb, zit faced slob will probably kill any inclination you have to make sure baby can't walk on Friday morning.

D) YOU wouldn't f*ck her with MY dick. Just to be safe, give her the "sniff test". If your eyes start to water, bounce and live to smash another day.

E) All of the above. All I can say it this, amigo...never go into combat without your flak jacket, always remember where you put your clothes, and have your route to the door clearly thought out before you pass out.

Happy smashing, my friend! I'd tell you to cheez in her grill, but that would be like telling Chuck Norris how to throw a roundhouse kick.