Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Dear Legbreaker, I recently deleted all the porn on my computer...

Dear Legbreaker,

I recently deleted all the porn on my computer. Good move? Bad move?



Dear Sixth...thanks for writing.

I'm glad you brought this up...because the young men of the world need to know...it is NEVER okay to delete all of your porn. This is not my opinion, it is man law. Porn is a rare and beautiful thing, and it should be treated as such. Like all rare and beautiful things, however, there is a time and place to bid them a fond adieu.

When it comes to porn, these instances are as follows:

1) Hairy bush. Like bell bottoms and butterfly collars, this tragic and frightening remnant of the 70's and early 80's will occasionally rear its ugly head in the world o' porn. Hairy bush has no place in today's society, or in any self respecting 21st century man's porn collection. You need to drop that ish like your last hood rat: with a quickness.

2) Beehive and/or big hair. Big hair had its day...but I believe I speak for all men when I say that the spank bank, porn collection, and ho stable should be free of aqua net, unless that's what blows your horn.

3) Sh*tty Disco. What used to pass as good disco mercifully died over 25 years ago...and the talentless @ssholes who insisted on making bad disco that couldn't get airtime on the radio got jobs in the porn industry...making sure that even watching porn in the 70's was like jerking off with 2-grit sandpaper. Do you really want to re-live that? I thought not.

Well, Sixth...I hope that helps you out. Have a kick@ss day, amigo!Oh...and if watching porn, its obviously impossible to cheez in her grill...but cheezing on your monitor is an acceptable substitute.

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